I became interested in this question when other therapists commented on the immaturity of an increasing number of college students that they were seeing in counseling. I know that a subgroup of young people seeing therapists may not represent young people as a whole.

I asked of Copilot AI on March 23,2026. Copilot said, “College students aren’t universally more immature—they’re: developing in a longer, complex transition into adulthood, growing up in highly visible digital environments and responding to different incentives and pressures than prior generations.” …” What looks like immaturity is often delayed adulthood, louder experimentation, or different coping strategies, not a lack of ability or seriousness.”

AI added that “immaturity is more visible because now it is documented, shared, or amplified.

.” It suggested there is generational bias and that grade inflation has reduced external signs of accountability.

Earlier in March 2026, Copilot said this seeming immaturity was not low ego strength but was more like underdeveloped executive function in real-world contexts.

Copilot stated: Classic “ego strength” theory emphasized reality testing, delay of gratification, and capacity to tolerate frustration. These capacities develop through use, not declaration. If environments repeatedly absorb consequences, negotiate standards, soften deadlines and reduce exposure to failure, then ego functions remain situationally immature, not constitutionally weak. This also explains why many students appear anxious and brittle, and avoidant but later perform competently in structured environments with clear roles.

 AI has reminded me of how essential it is to teach clients about what it described as the “effort—failure—adjustment—retry loop” as a habit required for success. It is easy to believe mistakenly that clients already know and understand this.

In thinking about how this affects therapists,  I realize we will be seeing more and more young people in despair if they are slow to develop the foundational skills needed for employment. Demoralization can lead to dangerous behaviors. Despondent young people who feel like failures need reminders of the things they did accomplish and reinforcement of the early positive gains they make in practicing this loop. This encouragement is done by focusing on actual accomplishments and not by saying they are okay by definition.

Sometimes therapists may need to teach even rudimentary skills like how to open a bank account and write a check to pay a bill. Kelly Williams Brown’s book Adulting: How to Become a Grown-up in 535 Easy(ish) Steps would help with similar situations.

AI has a more tough love stance. Co-pilot notes that self-esteem first interventions, purely cognitive programs without action, and protection from failure do not work. It acknowledges that “letting people fail, allowing discomfort, accepting unequal outcomes and resisting the urge to soothe before competence forms is politically and emotionally difficult.”

AI believes that what works is giving real responsibility with real consequences that make people accountable for outcomes that affect others.  AI gave apprenticeships, military service, and paid work with defined deliverables as examples of contexts that force self-regulation under pressure.

As Chris Rock has said, give a man a mortgage if you want him to think twice before he makes an irresponsible decision.